We all have a little bit of the stars of American Idol in us, even if we can't sing. Not Kelly Clarkson, not Chris Daughtry- instead, we have Simon, Paula and Randy, the infamous judges. You only need to watch the show a time or two to see what the judges are about. Simon, the sharp-tongued Brit, is cocky, rude, and famous for bringing contestants to tears with his harsh comments. Such comments as "That was absolutely dreadful!" or "It sounded like karaoke- terrible karaoke" . While he is often accurate in his disapproval, the way he so ruthlessly communicates his judgement raises concern. Paula on the other hand, is the anti-Simon. No matter how retched the performance, Paula finds a way to tell the contestant with kind words ("I'm sorry sweetie, but your pitch was off"). She typically finds some nice words to leave them with ("You look beautiful" or "I love that outfit"). Sometimes she can be sappy and sugary sweet and at times it seems like she has nothing bad to say about anyone, but she is always sensitive to the contestants feelings. At times she even publicly berates Simon for his lack of sensitivity. Randy is a combination of the two. He isn't afraid to tell someone he didn't like them, but he does it in a kinder way than Simon does ("I'm sorry dawg, that wasn't good").
So how does this relate to self-esteem? We all have the voices of the judges inside our heads. Unfortunately, some of us have far too much of the hyper-critical Simon and far too little of the sensitive and caring Paula. Even less of us have the sensible and realistic Randy. Every time we make negative comments to ourselves ( "I'm fat", "I'm not good enough") we are channeling Simon. Would we ever talk to the contestants with the same disdain that Simon uses? Then why is it okay to talk to ourselves that way? How often to we channel Paula? If we could learn to talk back to our inner-Simon the same way that Paula does- to tell him to shut up and stop being so negative, this would do wonders for our self-esteem. If we could learn to be more like Randy- to be realistic yet kind- we would feel better about our selves. The next time your inner-Simon says "I'm such a loser", let your inner-Randy talk back and say "I made a mistake but I will learn from this" or let your inner-Paula find the good in what you've done ("You tried really hard and deserve credit for trying")
Pay attention to the American Idol judges in your head. Simon Cowell might help Fox get the ratings but he doesn't help your self-esteem. Talk back to your inner-Simon!
